Why Xavier hates the Flu Season
by c-wolf
Summary: title says it all
1. Default Chapter

Why the professor hates flu season  
  
At two a.m., Charles woke up suddenly to the sound of an explosion. Reaching out telepathically, he groaned. Scott had sneezed, and blown out his window.  
  
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Kurt was getting ready to take his shower, when he sneezed. Next thing he knew he'd teleported into someone's shower. Then he heard a scream, followed by a sharp pain in the back of his head caused by some blunt instrument. He ported again without looking, in fear.  
  
Charles was rolling along, when Kitty phased through the bathroom door and him, in a bathrobe, screaming about killing Kurt.  
  
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That business with the chip in his head, had caused some unique problems for Logan for a day. One of which, was that he seemed to be getting a cold. Beast thought it was just a subconscious response to memories as a child resurfacing, but it was still irritating. Especially since he couldn't control his claws. Every time he sneezed, something got damaged. Just that morning, he'd been reaching for a beer, when he sneezed. All the bottles broke. Xavier chose that moment to roll in. He took one look at Logan, covered in beer, cussing up a storm, and rolled back out again.  
  
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Rogue scared the snot out of everyone when she sneezed, and Juggernauts personality decided to surface. What made matters worse, was that she was in the gym shower. Scott was walking by on his way to the mens shower room, when he got run over by a bunch of girls in towels. Then Jean came along and kicked him between the legs because she thought he'd been peeking.  
  
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Jamie Sneezed, then his duplicates sneezed. One of them sneezed and bowled the professor over as he was rolling toward his office. It took a minute for the 6 copies to remove themselves, and pick the professor back up and put him in the wheelchair.  
  
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Xavier rolled into the entertainment room, and saw chaos. Holes were everywhere. The couch, ceiling, the walls, even the tv was smashed. In the center of it all was an unconscious Cannonball, with a runny nose.  
  
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Kitty sneezed, and phased through the floor, into the Professors bubble bath. It was hard to tell who screamed louder.  
  
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Bobby, the fun loving prankster, was stuck in his bedroom with the flu. As he looked out at everyone playing in the sun and the pool. he just couldn't smile. Then he sneezed.  
  
Wolverine was the only one at the pool, and decided to take a little dip. So he hopped in, right as Iceman sneezed. The pool froze, with Wolverine in mid splash. The roars were heard by the professor in cerebros room. The only place he could find peace and quiet. Bobby quickly lay down in the bed, and stayed there for the rest of the day. 


	2. and you thought I was finished

More wackiness  
  
Storm was waiting for the students at Bayville High, when Principal Kelly walked by. Storm sneezed. Kelly screamed. He had to go to the hospital for a singed rear.  
  
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The Brotherhood were in the midst of another failed attack on the X-men's mansion, when Toad sneezed, accidentally shooting out his tongue in the process. Even the Brotherhood were apologetic enough that they tried to help Jean remove it from her nose.  
  
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Jean sneezed as she and Scott were walking by the danger room. He flew through the door, and activated the security. He spent the next 3 days being poked and prodded by Beast who wanted to try new medical treatments.  
  
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Spike sneezed. Poor Bobby had to have the spikes removed one by one from his rear.  
  
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Boom-Boom or Tabitha, walked down the hallway at school. She sneezed, putting her hand to her mouth. Luckily nobody noticed. However they did see the results. Half the football team wound up showing the female population what they were lacking.  
  
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Magma sneezed, and set fire to Scott's car.  
  
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Xavier sneezed, and Wolverine started singing "I'm a little teapot." complete with the motions. 


	3. more insanity

Iceman was walking through the hallway in school, when he sneezed. Duncan screamed. It took the janitor 5 minutes to chip him out of the shower.  
  
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While still having troubles after the chip was removed, Wolverine walked up to Beast from behind, to ask him a question. As Logan reached out to tap him on the shoulder, he sneezed. For the next two weeks, Xavier had a bald- headed, blue furred, twin.  
  
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Forge was working on a new project, something about paint, and transporters. He sneezed, as he was using a screwdriver. Everyone at the mansion including him, was colored green and brown for 24 hours.  
  
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Rogue sneezed, Magma's personality appeared. Principal Kelly screamed. He went to the hospital for yet another singed rear.  
  
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During a battle between Magneto and the X-men, Storm was trying to concentrate on where to hit him with lightning, when she sneezed. Then she laughed, while the X-guys crossed their legs in imagined pain.  
  
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Nightcrawler sneezed, teleported into Scott's shower, Scott screamed. Nightcrawler went and found Wolverine's alcohol stash and got drunk.  
  
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Xavier woke up from a sound sleep, groaning. Everyone at the mansion was sick except Wolverine and him. He reached out for the wheelchair, and realized it wasn't there. Then he heard a "WHEE!". Scanning with his mind, he discovered that Bobby had taken some powerful flu medicine, and was using his chair like a racecar. 


	4. Once more with feeling

Xavflu4  
  
Forge was tinkering with the Danger room, while Rogue, Jean, and Kitty were doing a practice run. What he was working on had nothing to do with the simulation. While pressing a button, He sneezed and pressed a different one.  
  
Xavier was rolling down the hallway, to enter the elevator leading to the control room. All of a sudden, the door blew off it's hinges, and the 3 x- girls ran screaming out of the room. When he looked in, he noticed 10 Sabertooths wearing see-thru leotards.  
  
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Wolverine was walking around the hallway upstairs, when he sneezed. His claws just happened to slice the door to the shower nearby to pieces. A shower cap wearing Kurt came running out screaming high pitched, while beating Logan about the head with a shampoo bottle.  
  
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Jean was walking through the hallway at school. She sneezed. Duncan screamed. He required a cast in a very painful area for the next 2 weeks.  
  
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Toad sneezed, then hopped away screaming with a pair of pants stuck to his tongue. Principal Kelly went screaming in the other direction, flashing the whole world.  
  
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Magneto sneezed, Principal Kelly's car blew apart.  
  
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Storm sneezed, Cyclops flew into Duncan's arms. They both screamed, and ran in opposite directions.  
  
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Xavier sneezed, Duncan started doing the Macarena, and singing all the words, in front of the school assembly.  
  
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(I'm sorry, I can't dredge any more up. It is now up to whoever wants to take up this challenge. I would do more, but I used only the mutants I'm a fan of, and the scapegoats I love torturing. Occasionally they're the same thing. "grin". I have no problems with someone else taking up the reins.) 


End file.
